


We'll get through this

by Jack Wilson-Parker (spideymerc)



Category: Grimm (TV)
Genre: Accidental, Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Domestic Violence, Emotional, Hurt Monroe, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Stream of Consciousness, Violence, sorry - Freeform
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-20
Updated: 2018-07-20
Packaged: 2019-06-13 12:59:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,137
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15365211
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spideymerc/pseuds/Jack%20Wilson-Parker
Summary: When you look down at the crumpled mess on the floor the first thing you notice are the wide eyes. The second thing is how much your hand is stinging. Eventually the fog clears from your vision and you see the shaking, cowering mess your boyfriend has become and you can barely register the fact you caused him to be that way.





	We'll get through this

When you look down at the crumpled mess on the floor the first thing you notice are the wide eyes. The second thing is how much your hand is stinging. Eventually the fog clears from your vision and you see the shaking, cowering mess your boyfriend has become and you can barely register the fact _you caused_ him to be that way.

You see the blood slowly begin to drip from his nose, the redness forming on his jaw that you could tell was already becoming a bruise. You saw the tears welling up in his eyes and you could almost taste his fear.

“'Roe..” you go to take a step forward and your heart breaks when he shuffles backwards, still on the floor, “Oh God.” you look down at your knuckles, notice the bruising blossoming over your pale skin and you feel sick.

Everything had happened so fast that you were struggling to remember what happened but the soft whimpers from Monroe were helping to create a connection from this present moment and the last ten minutes.

Home, you came home angry and frustrated; the killer from your recent case had dropped off the radar, the killer who had brutally attacked and murdered several gay men and women including his attack on Monroe several weeks ago. You took it personally, this guy wasn't wesen but it didn't stop you from wanting to tear his throat out with your teeth ( _and maybe you were spending too much time with Monroe considering that was such a blutbad thing to think)._ He was gone and Monroe still felt scared to go to his local market in case some crazed homophobic stalker launched at him again.

You and Hank weren't giving up, you couldn't since your own _boyfriend_ was only alive because a passer-by managed to intervene; Monroe's lower back was sore for weeks after the hard blow it had taken.

You came home, angry and frustrated and upset and all you wanted was to cool off but Monroe wouldn't leave you alone going on and on and on and on about _stupid fucking clocks like you gave a shit right now god dammit_ and he just didn't seem to get that you just really didn't want to talk. Then he put a hand on your back like he does every night, a gesture that you normally craved but right now your Grimm brain decided it was a fucking good reason to drop him on his ass.

The thought was in your head for no more than half a second when you spun around quickly, fist meeting the soft skin and hard jaw of Monroe, you heard that soft crack that seemed to echo around the whole kitchen from his nose as the force of the punch was enough to make him fall face first into the dining table. Then silence. It was silent for a moment and then you _realised what you've just done._

Monroe sat wide eyes on the floor, the blood was pouring from his nose now but he still didn't move or try to stop the flow, he just kept staring at you like he was terrified of you. Which was understandable, you just punched him in the face for no real reason other than you were in a bad mood and Monroe wasn't and he was an easy target and you felt like you were going to throw up.

You tried to step forward again and Monroe's whimper was loud this time, the choked sob caught in his throat as he tried to shuffle back but you wouldn't let him. With speed and carefulness you knelt beside him, your tears were already falling.

“Oh _god, oh god, oh god_ ,” You're sobbing now, “I am so sorry, Jesus, Monroe I didn't mean to do this to you, shit, I am so sorry.” he wouldn't take his eyes from you, like a scared pup trying to keep an eye on your every move. He moved his jaw a couple of times, as if testing the waters and trying to find his voice all over again.

“I... I've never... you... what did I do?” and wasn't that a punch to the gut, your bad mood and your fist made him think he did something to deserve it,

“Nothing, you've done nothing.”  
“I must have, you went full Grimm and... and I've never been scared of you before but... but...” his breathing was fast and he was still so fearful and tense under the hand that just punched him,

“Are you scared now?” he didn't answer but he didn't need to and all you could think about was how you needed to get an ice pack on his jaw and to stem that bleed and _fuck_ his nose was probably broken and you know all about blutbad superior healing but that doesn't stop you from noticing how pained he looked, “We should take you to the hospital.”  
“No.”  
“I'm not arguing with you, you're going to the hospital and...” he whimpered again and then you realised that maybe your harsh voice wasn't a good thing, you wanted him to feel safe with you again and giving him commanding orders wouldn't work, “'Roe, I just want you to get checked out.”

“I can't.” he's spitting blood out now and now you're the one who is scared when you see his eyes lose focus.   
“Please, I know you heal fast but this is bad, I just _hit_ you and...”  
“Exactly, I can't go... just let me patch myself up and...”

“What?” he's swaying slightly,

“If I go... they'll know you hit me.” and now it makes sense to you, he was still protecting you despite you knowing you have to face what you've done,

“I don't care, I did this to you and I need to make sure you're okay, I'm so sorry.” you see he's trying to answer but the swelling on his jaw is becoming a problem so instead you help him up, it shouldn't have been so easy to do and that was also worrying but his body was almost limp as you helped him out of the house and into your truck. You wish you got ice now, ice in a kitchen towel would have been perfect for his nose right now but he's still staring at you and your hands as if he thinks you'll lash out at him again.

You drive in silence, he keeps shifting away from you and you can understand why he is doing it but you wished he would stop, the tears in your eyes make it harder and harder to see but you know where you're going.

The drive doesn't normally take that long but with the silence and the shifting and _all that blood_ it feels like you've been driving for hours before you pull up and are running around to his side to open the door and help him out. He's still stiff under your touch but he allows you to guide him into the hospital, a nurse sees you and guides you into an empty room almost instantly. It's late now, you got home late, missed your dinner with Monroe and then punched him so hard you've made him scared. The nurse is asking questions and your brain can't keep up and Monroe seems to be having trouble with his jaw and he's swaying and his light blue flannel you bought him as a present because you loved him is stained red. How ironic, the shirt you bought him as a token of your love is the same one you broke his nose in and Jesus doesn't the word broken sound even worse.

She's shining a torch in his eyes, she looks concerned and pulls a doctor in, the nurse is holding an ice pack in a cloth to his nose because Monroe can't even lift up his arms. The doctor takes over, trying to ask him questions about himself, _what happened? How long ago? Did someone do this to you?_ But he wasn't answering and you can't tell if it was because of his injuries or because he was still trying to protect you.

The doctor is talking about scans now and tests and before you know it you're alone and a nurse is trying to talk to you to take details and all you can think about is Monroe.

“Where is he?”

“Sir, I just need you to answer these questions.”  
“Where is he?”  
“He's just gone for some scans, now please answer these questions,” you nod, eyes frantic and your heart is hurting, “Thank you, what's his name?”  
“Monroe...”

“And you are?”  
“I'm.. I'm his boyfriend, Nick Burkhardt.”  
“Can you tell me what happened?”

“I...” you glance down at your bruised knuckles but you weren't quick enough because she saw you and put two and two together and came out with the correct answer,  
“Did you do this?” her words held disgust and it stung and you know you deserve it but you still don't answer, your mind is far away. She sits you down and then she's gone, you hear her on the phone but you don't care because all you care about is Monroe and how badly you've fucked up.

Monroe is still gone an hour later, you've been checking your watch every ten minutes. Monroe isn't back but Wu is here and now you know why she was on the phone.  
“Nick?” you look up at your friend and you want to hide from his concern gaze, he's giving you the once over, “Are you okay? Has Monroe done something?” and you want to scream at him because _no Monroe is a good man who would never hurt me, I'm the fucking ass hole who has put him in the hospital,_ but you don't have time to say anything because the nurse was over and talking and,

“He arrived with the patient.” and then Wu looked shocked, his eyes widened and he spots your fist and you feel weak and there tears again and Wu is asking the Nurse to leave them alone and asked the other uniform with him to ask her questions.

“What happened, man?” and it was such a simple question and the answer was so simple but it burnt your throat as you spat out the words,

“I hit him.” and that was it, you said it out loud and there's a bad taste in your mouth that you don't think you'll ever get out despite how many times you wash out your mouth. 

“Why?”  
“I...” you're reliving it, every word at a time, “Home... his attacker... missing,” your sentences are broken and you realised you're probably hysterical, “I was in a bad mood and he... he was right there doing everything right and... he was just there and... and he was acting like nothing had happened, talking like it was a normal day and...” and then you remember you never even got to tell Monroe why you were in a bad mood, you never told him the guy who tried to kill him had run off, you never told him how scared you were in case he came back and succeeded in killing him this time, “He didn't know, fuck, he had no idea and... and... I just snapped, fucking hell, shit, oh fuck I... I just... I hit him and now he's gone and... I don't know how he is or... I...” Wu cut you off, he's looking scared for you and your body is going into shock and you miss Monroe and all you want is to hold him in your arms and tell him how sorry you are and that it would never ever happen again and that your not like other Grimm's, that you would never hurt him on purpose only you did, you hurt him and became his worst nightmare.

Wu was talking again and you're not listening until he say _I'll get some info on Monroe_ and then you're interested, then your trying to follow him on shaky legs despite the nurse trying to hold you back and then you recognise that voice and it's not a nurse it's Rosalee and _what is she doing here?_ You're eyes are wide with panic and this punch has spiralled out of control and then you remember this is the hospital, they'll have Monroe's records and Rosalee's contact details are right there, under yours. You're sobbing again and Rosalee looks confused as to whether to smack you for hurting Monroe because she knows, of course she does, or whether to hold you close and calm you down. She goes with the first option minus the smack, she shakes her head at you and utters the words: _I thought you were better than this_ and walks after Wu and wow, you wished she just hit you because it would have hurt less.

She hates you, you know it and you know she'll take Monroe away from you and she'll take him to hers and you will have to move out because Monroe wont want to be your boyfriend any more and that ring you bought which was hidden in a shoe box in the top of the closet was wasted because the answer will be no because how can he still love you after you hurt him so badly that your friends can't even stand the sight of you?

Rosalee doesn't come back out but Wu does and you can feel the cold cuffs before he's even taken them off his uniform and you're waiting and waiting for him to read you your rights and arrest you for domestic abuse but he doesn't, he looks at you with sad eyes and says Monroe wants to see you and you're moving before anyone can take you away from him because _Monroe wants to see you._

You're standing in the door way, Monroe is on the bed in front, Rosalee is holding his hand. The room is awkward, the tension so thick you're scared you'll choked to death on it.

“Nick...” he's holding a hand out to you and, would you look at that, you're crying all over again,

“ _I'msorryI'msorryI'msorryI'msorry”_ you're chanting it now as you cross the room quickly and hold his hand in yours, his face is bruised, his eyes still hold the fear in them but he didn't flinch and he's holding your hand back and his nose is bandaged up and his jaw is purple and the bruising has spread to his eyes, “I didn't mean to.”  
“I know,” his speech is soft, like it should be painful to talk but you notice the IV in his arm and your first guess is painkiller, “I'm okay.

“Concussion, broken nose, fractured jaw.” Rosalee filled in and your heart broke again. 

“You're not okay Monroe, you're not okay and it's my fault.” he just shrugged you off.   
“Grimm strength.” he said as if it made a difference and maybe to his confused brain it did but to you it just reminded you that you're a _monster_ inside. 

“What do we do now?” he looks confused. 

“What?”

“We can't carry on after this, can we?” and then his fear is back and he's panicking and there's tears in his eyes that you can't explain, “Monroe...?”

“Don't go.”  
“I _hurt_ you.” the reminder was painful but you didn't care, he needed to be told. 

“I know, I know, but no, don't go, accident,” he let go of Rosalee's hand and used both to hold yours, “We can work through it, right?”

“Are you sure?” he was babbling yes before you could even get out the first word of your sentence and suddenly you felt relieved yet you also felt guilty, you just hurt Monroe and got away with it but then when you tried to put your hand on his face and he flinched you realised that no, you didn't get away with it because every flinch he did because of you served as a reminder of what you did to him.

“I suggested he come stay with me, but he wont have it,” Rosalee said, “He wants to go home.”

“Please.” Monroe was begging now, he wanted to go home with you and that's a good sign.   
“Yes, you can come home.”

“No charges?” Monroe said, his words didn't make a whole lot of sense,

“Pressing charges?”  
“No, not doing it, need you home with me,” he was crying and you don't remember when he started but you really wish he'd stop because you just want him to stop hurting, “I love you.”  
“I love you too.” and you saw the fear fade for a second and all you have to do is keep on reminding him that you love him.

You take him home after stern words from Rosalee about being careful and treating him right and demanding a full explanation from you at a later date, then Wu was talking to you but said that he would talk to you later as well and drove you both home since you knew neither one of you were fit for getting behind the wheel.

You got to the front door and felt sick, the house in which was supposed to be your safe space became a reminder of what you did but Monroe just seemed happy to be home so you walked you both inside and straight up the stairs and helped Monroe into bed. You go back down the stairs and lock up every door and window and make some tea you knew neither of you would probably drink but its what Monroe would do to you if you were injured.

He was still awake, waiting for you when you entered your bedroom, you put the mugs down and got ready for bed, almost scared to get in next to him but he lifted the covers and you climbed underneath and held him close, he was still stiff and he flinched when your hand went to rest on his lower back like it did every night and you realised he was still scared of you, scared of the Grimm who punched him, you pressed a kiss to his forehead and bit back more tears.

“We'll work through this.” you said with a promise, you weren't going to put him through this pain ever again, you look over at the closet that held the ring with a much bigger promised attached to it but you knew that one would have to wait just that little bit longer until you could prove yourself to him again. He kissed your chest softly and murmured a goodnight but you couldn't sleep, instead you watched over him, whispering that same promise into his hair.

“ _We'll work through this.”_

 

end.

 

**Author's Note:**

> okay, so this was written late last night when I started writing for my book only it turned into a Nickroe fic (which is not part of my book) so i decided to keep it nickroe and share it on here  
> i don't know why writing this would be a good thing but i liked the writing style so im very sorry and i kinda hate myself


End file.
